Zero Tolerance
Stressed Out Posh Mother to misbehaving child (about 5 years old): "Right, okay, right, that's it, that's final, that's absolutely final. You're getting no new toys and no McDonalds for a WHOLE WEEK".
Overheard by DB, Tesco, Nutgrove Shopping Centre
Posted on Wednesday, 15th March 2006
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Rating score (172) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Double standards?
Well, not really overheard but more over-read...Local shop had a poster in the window looking for staff:
"Staff required. Must be fluent AT English"
Sheesh!
Overheard by Shivermetimbers, Local shop, Shanliss Rd, Santry
Posted on Monday, 28th May 2007
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Rating score (181) | Comments (4) | Email to a friend |
Car Wash
Went to visit a mate workin' at a Car Wash.
After a half hour or so a pretty badly dented VW Golf pulled in.
"A Wash'n'Wax please!"
"Do Ya want me to Iron it as well?!"
Overheard by pinkfloyd, Car Wash
Posted on Monday, 20th October 2008
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Rating score (1702) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Boy Racers
One chav to another: "Lets go downin the go-kartin and pull some handbreaks."
(go karts don't have handbreaks)
Overheard by Tony H, Tallaght
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd March 2005
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Rating score (377) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Being Positive about a Negative
Went to a Christmas do last week with my boyfriend.
Was a ticket only affair and we were in queue.
Guy at top of queue couldn't get in cos he had no tie.He said he would check his car and see what he could find.
Back two minutes later with a set of jump leads tied in a bow around his neck.
Doorman says " OK, I suppose you can go in, but I'll be watching you , so don't start anything."
Overheard by susie, Top Notch Hotel Dublin
Posted on Friday, 19th December 2008
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Rating score (373) | Comments (12) | Email to a friend |
An audience with the Commode
I spent some time in hospital at Christmas, the ward was full of quite elderly women, one woman was unable to walk so needed to use a commode (she called it the poe), one morning she started screaming that she needed the poe. I rang the bell for the nurse, who was Filipino, the nurse started explaining to her that it was very early, it was only 6.30 am, I thought that this was a bit cruel, so I called the nurse over and told her, that the women was looking for the commode, the nurse put her head in hands started laughing, and told me she "thought the women was saying she wanted to see the pope!!"
Overheard by Anonymous, Beaumont Hospital
Posted on Monday, 13th August 2007
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Rating score (311) | Comments (3) | Email to a friend |
kids, priceless
When I was at a friends childs 7th birthday party, I over heard two little girls talking about the size of there pupils (black part in middle of eyes) they were amazed that ones were big and the other ones were small so they decided to investigate this further by joining all the other kids and adults in the kitchen and checking out there eyes, when the little girl turned to her granny and says..
"God gran, your nipples are huge" needless to say all but one adult fell around laughing.
Overheard by steph, in a mates
Posted on Tuesday, 03rd May 2005
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Rating score (738) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
One for the romantics..........not!
Walking around the Botanic Gardens one sunny Sunday with my boyfriend of a few months. We stop at one point to hug and he tells me that he loves me. "Love you too" I answer happily.
"No, No, I said Nice View!" he answers, laughing. Being a lot taller than me, he had been looking down my top as we hugged. He's very lucky that I didn't kill him.
Overheard by Lisa, Botanic Gardens, Glasnevin.
Posted on Friday, 21st December 2007
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Rating score (324) | Comments (2) | Email to a friend |
Do u even know where that is?!
This was heard in the fitting room in Topshop, da Squay-er!
Knacker-girl talking very loudly on her phone: (obviously wanted everyone to hear it) "I have a ball on Friday, FM104 booked a table at some Temple Street Hostipal(!) night in da 4 seasons. Dunno if i'm arsed going tho!"
Overheard by Shopaholic, Topshop fitting room, Tallaght
Posted on Monday, 11th April 2005
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Rating score (219) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
No Rushing!
About two years ago on the day of the UCD Open Day thousands of secondary students massed on the streets of the city. Hundreds waited at the number 10 bus stop outside Trinity College to take them to UCD. When finally a bus showed up the heard of people ran over to the door of the bus, pushing and shoving each other trying to get a place.
The bus driver shouts out the door to the crowd:
"Hang on, no rushing!"
To which one of the students shouts back:
"I'm not Russian, I'm Irish. Can I get on?"
Overheard by Alan, Bustop outside Trinity college
Posted on Thursday, 22nd December 2005
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Rating score (433) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Off da hook
Crowd of young lads sitting in McDonalds, possibly just back from a trip to the US, or maybe just talking about a DVD they'd seen. Phrases such as 'off da hook' and 'off da ...' one thing and the other etc are being bandied about. The analyst of the group pronounces: 'Off da hook is the most famous of all the offdas'.
Overheard by Mozzer, McDonalds, Ranelagh
Posted on Monday, 09th October 2006
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Rating score (647) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Let's Dance
On the Marian Finucane Show, the BBC psychotherapist Brett Kahr, in discussion with a caller to the show about dancing. Kahr relates that Freud had described dancing as " a vertical expression of a horizontal action", caller retorts that he had heard it described as " a naval (navel?) engagement without loss of seamen (semen?)"
Kahr proposed that the guy be given an honorary degree in psychotherapy!
Overheard by Edser, The Marian Finucane Show 17th May 2005
Posted on Tuesday, 17th May 2005
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Rating score (230) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Naked Horses
Peter: One of the lads working with me is buying horses with some friends and they are going to breed horses for racing.
Lynn: "As in have foals?"
Peter: "(Laughs)Yeah baby horses."
Lynn: "And how do they do that?"
Peter: (quizzed look) "They mate..just like humans?"
Lynn: "Do horses have penises?"
Peter: (Laughs) "Yeah of course they do. How else do you think they mate."
Lynn: "I dont know do I. I'VE NEVER SEEN A HORSE NAKED"
(Lynn is going on 22)
Overheard by Ian, Kimmage
Posted on Wednesday, 17th January 2007
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Rating score (1043) | Comments (4) | Email to a friend |
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