Love in your 60's
My mothers friend was having an affair with a married man, both are in their late 50s and early 60s. They booked a hotel room in west Dublin for their night of passion. The next day when they were checking out the receptionist told them they had the use of the room for a full 24 hours. Not wanting to waste money they decided to go back up the room and start over. But age took over and he said to her, 'will you put a drop of viagra in 'the eye'. She stood over him, looked at his face and asked 'which one, left or right?'
She then went on to explain to my mam that she had no idea what he meant but he laughed so much she missed her chance for some extra passion.
Overheard by Christine, Sunday lunch with family
Posted on Tuesday, 10th June 2008
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Rating score (330) | Comments (8) | Email to a friend |
Orange juice into oranges!
A friend asked if he could use my juicer, so I said yes. He disappeared into the kitchen for a while, then came back and said "I'd say that f**kin' juicer is broken, I'm after putting a whole carton of orange juice into it and it did nothing!"
Overheard by Anonymous, My flat
Posted on Wednesday, 16th January 2008
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Rating score (336) | Comments (5) | Email to a friend |
What a shower of W£?KERS
My little brother went to visit our American cousins, who live in the Bible Belt, Republican, Gun loving, Bush loving, part of the US, and was amazed that in America the word W£?KER does not exist. None of our cousins or their friends (all aged 12-14) had ever heard of it. So while he was there they made up a new ball game and called it W£?KER. During the course of the game the kids had to repeatedly call out things like "I just got a W£?K" "Thats five W£?KS for our team" "We're the best W£?KERS" my lil bro thought it was hilarious and my Mam could only laugh. Classic...
Overheard by Cal, Virginia USA
Posted on Wednesday, 06th June 2007
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Rating score (327) | Comments (12) | Email to a friend |
What goes on under a tablecloth
Woman describing what she wants in a man: "I'm looking for a man who'll eat me under the table!"
Saucy.
Overheard by Anonymous, On the ex files, RTE2, Nov 6 2006
Posted on Tuesday, 14th November 2006
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Rating score (239) | Comments (3) | Email to a friend |
Pins 'N Needles
I had to get a tetanus jab recently, and upon realising that it doesn't go in my arm, I got kinda embarrassed. The cute, foreign male nurse turns round and innocently says "It's okay, its just a little prick!"
Overheard by Ouch, St James Hospital
Posted on Tuesday, 01st August 2006
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Rating score (275) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
And the award goes to........
Crowd at awards gives Sr. Stan a standing ovation when she walks on stage to collect her humanitarian award.
Knacker girl in front: "sure why are they standing for her...they didn't even stand for westlife!"
Knacker friend nods in agreement at the injustice of the world...
Overheard by Laura, Meteor Awards 2004
Posted on Thursday, 31st March 2005
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Rating score (163) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Addictive chips
A group of drunk girls walking along along, eating chips after a night in the local.
Something along the lines of.....
Girl 1: "do you think that these are addictive when you're drunk?"
Girl 2: "yeah, there's nicotine in dem chips!"
Overheard by Dee, Artane
Posted on Thursday, 31st March 2005
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Rating score (206) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Overcoming procrastination
Friend talking about her effort (or lack of) to motivate herself: 'I even bought a book on overcoming procrastination but have procrastinated on reading it!'
Overheard by AEK21, TCD
Posted on Tuesday, 03rd June 2008
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Rating score (343) | Comments (32) | Email to a friend |
Young logic
My 5 year old sister comes out of christmans mass and says to my mam...
"how can he be born at christmas if they hanged him at easter?"
Overheard by Gerry C, clougherhead chapel
Posted on Monday, 11th April 2005
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Rating score (167) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
So that's where it is.....
Not overheard per se, but overseen - on a bin beside a 46A stop on the Stillorgan dualler. The bin has "LITTER" written on it, and some legend added a "c" and "us".
What does that give us?
cLITERus
Brilliant.
Overheard by Neil, The dualler
Posted on Thursday, 04th December 2008
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Rating score (177) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Don't you know who I am?
This happened in a huge exam centre where there were numerous University exams all going on. There's hundreds of people.
The end of the exams come along and the invigilators all line up along the front of the hall ready to collect the papers. Down one of the lines of desks, one of the invigilators notices one lad blatantly cheating. He's asking the people around him for answers, and pretty obviously doesn't give a crap that he's so obvious.
He's still writing the answers as the invigilator comes to his desk, and the invigilator refuses to take his paper and tells him to stay back after the exam. So after the exams are collected, everyone leaves the hall, and all that's left is the invigilator and the cheater.
The invigilator puts the big pile of exams down on the table beside them and starts to lay into yer man. The guy lets him finish and just pipes up "Eh, Don't you know who I am?"
The invigilator is shocked an retorts: "No, not a clue..."
Before he can continue, the cheater just says "Great!"
He slides his exam paper into the middle of the big pile of exams that the invigilator had collected and just walked away.
Overheard by Sean, Univercity exam centre
Posted on Saturday, 29th December 2007
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Rating score (3012) | Comments (15) | Email to a friend |
Rip off!
In Croke park for a Dublin match queuing for some soft drinks at half time, the guy in front of me was buying 3 bottles of Coke. The woman serving him charged him 10 euro to which he quickly replied...'ya wot??... I dont wan bleedin' shares in d place!' only a dub !
Overheard by Sarah, Hogan stand croke park
Posted on Friday, 29th February 2008
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Rating score (295) | Comments (10) | Email to a friend |
Shot Down
At a 21st on Stephens Night - a young girl walks up to middle aged man. She is obviously in the Christmas Spirit, with that she holds Misseltoe over both there heads she says "Will you kiss me under the misseltoe?" he says "Would you F**k off I wouldnt kiss you under anesthetic."
Overheard by Karen, Royal Dublin Hotel
Posted on Monday, 23rd January 2006
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Rating score (405) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
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