Instant spell checker
Sitting waiting to get my daughter's birth cert in the General Register Office in Coolock, a woman in front of me casually takes out her mobile phone and rings her husband. She asks him does he know how to spell the name Fionnuala. When he doesn't know, she says she needs to find out as she is waiting in a queue to get her own daughter's birth cert!
A while later, the woman goes up to the window, and the clerk behind the desk asks her to confirm her daughter's first name. She tells him the name Fionnuala and spells it for him. He jokes that is she sure about the spelling, to which she replies yes, she just googled it on her mobile!
Overheard by Anonymous, General Register Office, Coolock
Posted on Tuesday, 26th January 2010
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Rating score (140) | Email to a friend |
He's probably right too
I was in the cinema with a friend going to see "Avatar 3D". It was my friends first 3D film, and he was getting quite excited during the trailers, only to blurt out during one of those silent moments "I'd say there'd be a good market for 3D porn!"....neendless to say the row infront and behind us cracked up laughing
Overheard by Paul, Cineworld
Posted on Monday, 25th January 2010
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Rating score (109) | Email to a friend |
Predictable but still funny
Two girls chatin,
1st girl: "Me da is gettin a terrible belly on him."
2nd girl: "Maybe its in the genes?"
1st girl: "No its in every trousers he wears."
Overheard by Aimee, Stephens Green Park bench
Posted on Monday, 25th January 2010
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Rating score (96) | Email to a friend |
Lost a pound and found a penny!
I am English, but my wife is Irish, when we were courting we were having a quiet drink in a pub and I noticed that the guy sitting next to me had dropped a punt on the floor (this was in 1987)
I leaned across and said "excuse me mate but you've dropped a punt on the floor"
He picked it up and said to the barman "How about that? how many people would have said anything, Jesus him being English and all?"
He then bought me a pint of Guinness and would not take no for an answer
Price of a pint of Guinness at that time? over 2 punts!
never forgot it.
Overheard by Martin, can't remember the city centre pub
Posted on Monday, 25th January 2010
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Rating score (67) | Email to a friend |
Globe trotters...
I'm currently a student teacher. I recently had Senior Infants (5-6 year olds). I decided to teach Geography and to see what countries the children knew. So i asked the children what countries in the world they could list. So I got the usual countries, America, Spain, England etc. I decided to prompt the children into naming other countries. I asked 'can anyone tell me where Pizza comes from?' hoping for the answer Italy. Instead I was greeted with a young boy waving his hand around desperately. His answer - 'Apache!'
Overheard by mari, class
Posted on Monday, 25th January 2010
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Rating score (114) | Email to a friend |
Higher taxes?
More like seen than heard. On a Tesco ad it said 'was 1.40 now 1.45.' I think you can see the mistake.
Overheard by Anonymous, Crumlin shopping centre
Posted on Friday, 22nd January 2010
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Rating score (61) | Email to a friend |
Ultra Professional Pizza Man
Friend was on the phone ordering a pizza.
Friend: "Eh, yeah, can I get a pizza with nothing on it?"
Pizza guy: "Eh, do yis want sauce and cheese on dah?"
Friend: "Well, yeah."
Pizza guy: "Well datsa a margarita bud."
Overheard by Conor, Friends house
Posted on Thursday, 21st January 2010
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Rating score (68) | Email to a friend |
Do you sell mars bars here?
While in the pet shop on the quays a confused looking man staggered in.
He walked passed all the dog stuff and is standing at the counter beside the fish tanks. He the proceeds to ask the owner. "Do you sell any mars bars here?"
Trying to not laugh the manager says: "No but we do have dog food!"
Overheard by deewhiz, pet shop on the Quays
Posted on Thursday, 21st January 2010
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Rating score (89) | Email to a friend |
Talked her way into that one
A couple of years ago I was in a queue in Pearse Street garda station getting passport forms signed. An auld one in front of me was with her granddaughter filling out forms for her stolen purse. The child was bored and decided to strike up a conversation with the garda.
Child: "Whats your name?"
Garda: "Fiona"
Child: "Oh, like princess Fiona in shrek"
Garda: "Yeah, Do you like Shrek? Maybe your granny will take you to the pictures to see the new one?"
Child: "Ah No. I've already seen it on DVD loads of times. Me Da has hundreds at home. He sells them..."
Granny: "Jesus, Will yeh shutup?"
Other Garda: "We won't have to drag you in for questioning will we?"
Child looks at granny with totally confused look on her face. Everyone in the queue and the two gardai fell about the place laughing. The granny seemed to get over her stolen purse quickly and made her exit.
Overheard by Anonymous, Pearse Street Garda station
Posted on Thursday, 21st January 2010
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Rating score (168) | Email to a friend |
A new country?
Listening to the news on phantom with my 5 yr old daughter in the room, there was a report about the earthquakes in Haiti. My Daughter was curious as to what earthquakes were and what Haiti was. As I was Explaining about earthquakes and that Haiti was a country, the report ended with over a Thousand people ar feared Dead in total.
My Daughter exclaimed "Dad, did you hear! A thousand people dead in total as well!!!!" Then added "Dad, Where is total?"
Cue Stifled hilarity from myself
Overheard by Paul, At Home
Posted on Tuesday, 19th January 2010
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Rating score (91) | Email to a friend |
33N/1
On a nightlink on the way home from a night out. Bus comes to a hault outside a bookmakers and the driver informs us that the bus has broken down. One lad on the phone to a mate says quite loudly 'we're after breaking down outside bambury bookmakers in Lusk.... what are the odds of that?'
Both levels of the bus went into hysterics.
Overheard by David, Lusk
Posted on Tuesday, 19th January 2010
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Rating score (144) | Email to a friend |
The hungry D4 bird
Walking down Grafton St. just before Christmas - Passing by HMV as two D4 birds (bleached blonde) passed me.
I only caught one line of the conversation when one said to the other:
''I'm so hungry my fanny's chewing my leg''
I was stopped dead in my tracks - proper D4 accent and all.
Disgusting stuff
Overheard by Chris, Grafton St.
Posted on Monday, 18th January 2010
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Rating score (133) | Email to a friend |
The milk thieves
On the way home from college, two lads on the back of the bus were talking about their friend who was put in prison,'what did he get put in the joy for?' , 'he robbed the milkman, yea he managed to get €300 and a carton of strawberry milk'
Overheard by Rachel, on the 45a
Posted on Sunday, 17th January 2010
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Rating score (239) | Email to a friend |
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