True Dub wit - the oldies are the best!
Waiting with a friend in the queue for ATM Grafton Street March 08. Lady in 30s was spending a lot of time at machine. Dub man (late 70s/80s)behind her getting increasingly agitated blurts out "ya kno its' a bank machine not a bleedin television" !
Overheard by Tadhg, At AIB ATM, accross from River Island, Grafton Street.
Posted on Tuesday, 01st July 2008
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Rating score (420) | Comments (10) | Email to a friend |
In A League Of Their Own!!
Sitting on the Luas two apprentices reading their morning paper when one turns to the other and says. 'See two Irish lads are joining Serie B. They're a massive Italian club!!'
Overheard by Fionn, Red line, Luas
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd July 2008
|
|
|
|
|
Rating score (498) | Comments (7) | Email to a friend |
Doggy Fare
While on a bus recently i noticed this young lad standing at the bus stop with his dog as the bus was pulling in...He stepped on obviously presuming the dog would go home, put his money in and continued to proceed upstairs. All of a sudden the bus driver screams " oi get off my bus!" the young lad, presuming it was him comes back down looking confused. He sees the dog sitting at the bottom of the stairs wagging his tail and starts roaring laughing. The bus driver who was obviously not amused asks him whats so funny and quick as you like he turns around and goes" Wha? did he not pay his fare?!" kicks the dog off the bus and runs back upstairs with a smile on his face. Gave everyone a good laugh.
Overheard by Christian, Dublin bus
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd July 2008
|
|
|
|
|
Rating score (551) | Comments (17) | Email to a friend |
Is it a Quiz!!!
Was in the Chipper during Italia 90 years ago, overheard an order being put in by 2 lads mid 20's.....
it went like this...
Girl behind counter: "Can I take your order"
Lad 1: "Yeah can I get jockeys whips (chips) & batter Sausage"
Lad 2: "Can I get chips and a batter burger"
Lad 2 AGAIN: "Sorry Missus wats on a batter burger?"
Girl behind counter: (this is brilliant) "BATTER!"
Needless to say the chipper eruppted with laughter!!
Overheard by Wogga Wogga, Congress Chipper Italia \'90\' North Strand
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd July 2008
|
|
|
|
|
Rating score (466) | Comments (44) | Email to a friend |
Not The Brightest
Currently sharing a house with a few people. A few months ago, one of the lads came into the sitting room and informed us that 'the fuse in the light switch for the bathroom was gone!'
Took him a while to figure out that it was, in fact, the light bulb that was gone.
Overheard by Fionn, At home
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd July 2008
|
|
|
|
|
Rating score (375) | Comments (5) | Email to a friend |
Bringing efficiency to a new level
Girl in a rush: " Right, pussy washed and out the door so. I'll be there for 7".
Overheard by anastacia, George's Street
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd July 2008
|
|
|
|
|
Rating score (475) | Comments (9) | Email to a friend |
Maybe college isnt for everyone?
I was on the train coming back from maynooth and i hear these two girls from maynooth college (could tell by their hoodies), one of them pulls a penguin bar out of her bag and reads the joke
Girl 1: "What bird is always out of breath? Eh a panther! Wait is a panther even a type of bird?"
Girl 2: (laughing very loudly) "NO YOU IDIOT!Its like one of them fairytale animals like a unicorn!"
Girl 1: "Well whats they answer? (she checks the bar) A Puffin? Whats a Puffin?"
Girl 2: "Its one of them birds that live in Antartica isnt it?"
I was in stitches by this stage and thought it was even funnier because they were looking at a penguin bar in the first place!
Overheard by Peter, Train from maynooth
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd July 2008
|
|
|
|
|
Rating score (497) | Comments (8) | Email to a friend |
Space Invader
In a Temple Bar pub recently I overheard the following:
Wannabe posh girl with an indistinguishable accent (dort, mid Atlantic)
says to a local who seemed to be pestering her, "you're invading my space" to which he replied, "why don't you close your mouth, you might free up some"
Overheard by Leviathan, Temple Bar
Posted on Thursday, 03rd July 2008
|
|
|
|
|
Rating score (517) | Comments (2) | Email to a friend |
Great grasp of English
At a supermarket checkout in Ballymun, a foreign lady asked for some plastic bags to carry her groceries. The girl said she'd have to pay. The customer said that it was disgraceful. The checkout operator said, "nothing to do with me, there's none more gettin gave out free"
Overheard by Graham, Ballymun
Posted on Thursday, 03rd July 2008
|
|
|
|
|
Rating score (431) | Comments (4) | Email to a friend |
Where else would they be???
Whilst showing some English friends around our fair city, my friend commented that it was a lovely evening and "that all the homeless seemed to be out!!"
Overheard by Fionn, Temple Bar
Posted on Thursday, 03rd July 2008
|
|
|
|
|
Rating score (437) | Comments (4) | Email to a friend |
Future Mr & Mrs Gates
Intelectual young couple on 33 coming from town:
Guy: "who's better, pirates or ninjas?"
Girl: "But their both differant things/"
Overheard by Gareth, 33 bus
Posted on Thursday, 03rd July 2008
|
|
|
|
|
Rating score (458) | Comments (11) | Email to a friend |
Time Warp
Heuston Station, Fastrack area.
Man with parcel says, "when's the next train to Kilkenny?"
Man behind counter says "you just missed it."
Overheard by Anto, Fastrack Heuston Station
Posted on Friday, 04th July 2008
|
|
|
|
|
Rating score (534) | Comments (10) | Email to a friend |
Big V Small
One morning on a very cramped no27 bus just stopping before Connolly Station a small elderly man was trying to ensure he got up to the door just before the bus stopped. however blocking his passage a fairly big chap. It went like this:
Old guy: "excuse me can you move?"
Big Guy: "I cant I have no where to move to."
Old guy eventually squeezes by him
Old guys: "see I was able to move ok."
Big guy: "well thats cause youre a lot smaller than me."
Old guys turns around just before stepping off and says
"I may be a lot smaller but im not half as thick."
Whole bus heard it but nobody could laugh cause the big guy was still standing there in shock. Surpised he didnt jump of the bus after him!
Overheard by Anonymous, No 27 bus
Posted on Friday, 04th July 2008
|
|
|
|
|
Rating score (451) | Comments (2) | Email to a friend |
