Scangers pose as park ranger’s
While sitting on bench having my lunch in Stephens green park 2 scangers approached me and sat at either side of me.
Scanger #1 wiped out his wallet and opened it to reveal an ID card and said "I'm a park ranger, are you selling Drugs?"
to which I replied "are you for real do I look like a f**king drug dealer?"
Scanger #2 then insisted his friend is a park ranger and to look at his card for proof and said "are you sitting here long?"
so I left them to it and walked away
Overheard by Metal Lord, Stephens green park
Posted on Monday, 02nd July 2007
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Rating score (303) | Comments (12) | Email to a friend |
Hamper
Coming out of Tesco Clondalkin around Christmas time one woman was regaling another about the contents of a hamper she had won. "It had everything. Turkey, ham, biscuits, cake, whiskey, sherry, chocolates - everything except food!"
Overheard by Anonymous, Outside Tesco, Clondalkin
Posted on Monday, 02nd July 2007
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Rating score (352) | Comments (5) | Email to a friend |
DOZEY SUZIE
One night I was sitting in my friend Wayne's house and we were sitting in complete darkness because his mother had a headache. Suzanne, Wayne's blonde and very stupid girlfriend asked why we were sitting in the dark. "There is a power cut," I replied as a joke. "It can't be," she said. "I was just on the bus and the lights were on in that!"
Overheard by Jason, Friends house, Blanchardstown
Posted on Monday, 02nd July 2007
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Rating score (313) | Comments (7) | Email to a friend |
Workers Unite !!!
Coming home from work last week, about to get off the notorious 77 when i noticed the clear poster panel behind the driver... some activist had scrawled in big bold permanent marker... WORKERS OF THE WORLD- RISE UP AND UNITE, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR CHAINS!
Pondering the profound meaning of this- i also noticed some smaller writing below scribbled in biro where some genius had added..."AND YOUR JOBS!"
Couldn't get off the bus quick enough to crack up laughing !!!
Overheard by Jaymz, On the 77...
Posted on Monday, 02nd July 2007
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Rating score (379) | Comments (5) | Email to a friend |
Messy camping site
right, well me and a few of the lads were on a camping trip down in Wexford there about 2months ago. after a heavy night of drinking one of the lads begins getting sick, just for moral support 2 of the other lads decided to make themselves get sick. once all of the vomiting finishes one of the lads turns around to the rest of us and says "Oh God I hate communal getting sick!!"
Overheard by John Joe, Wexford camping
Posted on Monday, 02nd July 2007
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Rating score (209) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
First time to the Northside
Getting the No. 746 bus home last week, a pair of Southsiders, one male and the other female, sat in front of me, both of them getting the bus to the "airporsh", discussing their friends in "Trinners". Clearly neither was familiar with the area north of the Liffey.
Turning onto Dorset Street, the girl panicked slightly, asking her companion, "Why are we going this way? This isn't the way to the airporsh, this is the way to the Mater...the airporsh is that way!" The airport, so she insisted, was down Blessington Street.
Slightly further on, she calmed down and told her friend, "Oh, it's okay, this is Drumcondra."
"Wow, how do you know that?"
"Because, like, it says Drumcondra on all the shops."
And finally, just before I got off, I had time to hear the following remark about the Bishop's Palace: "Wow, like, does someone actually live in that big house?"
Shame I had to get off the bus when I did, it was quite entertaining!
Overheard by Dave, 746 bus
Posted on Monday, 02nd July 2007
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Rating score (243) | Comments (5) | Email to a friend |
Pay attention at the turntable!
Not as much overheard in dublin as broadcast all over Dublin -
Saturday 30 june, shortly after 12 noon, on Q102 Eric Clapton's Tears in Heaven fades out and female DJ says "playing the songs that pick you up and make you feel good, Dublin's Q102".
(For those too young to remember the song was written and performed by Clapton in memory of his four year old son who was killed in a fall from his mother's apartment window)
Overheard by Paul, On Q102
Posted on Monday, 02nd July 2007
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Rating score (424) | Comments (20) | Email to a friend |
(W)exports
Dublin lad and Wexford lad in a bit of a jovial slagging match.
Dub: I only know 2 things to come out of Wexford, knackers and strawberries, and you're no strawberry.
Overheard by Johnser, Pub
Posted on Tuesday, 03rd July 2007
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Rating score (791) | Comments (21) | Email to a friend |
Misheard lyric
Whilest in the bathroom cubicle, a couple of months back, when the song "Hips Don't Lie" by Shakira was very popular, I overheard two girls talking. Their conversation went like this:
Girl #1: "Hey, you know the song 'Hips Don't Lie' (pronounced hipstone lie) by Shakira???"
Girl #2: "Yeah"
Girl #1: "Well, what's a hip-stone????"
Overheard by Anonymous, Girls Bathroom, South Dublin School
Posted on Wednesday, 04th July 2007
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Rating score (229) | Comments (3) | Email to a friend |
Judge(d) at Roy Beans
Aul Lad trying his best to get into Judge Roy Beans, absolutely rubber. The lads on the door could'nt believe he was trying to get in....
Bouncer: "are you in or out?"
Aul lad: "if you're not in you're definitely out", then he broke his arse laughing and staggered off. Aul git!
Overheard by Paul, In town outside Judge Roy Beans
Posted on Wednesday, 04th July 2007
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Rating score (187) | Comments (8) | Email to a friend |
Found Him In the Yellow Pages, under 'W'
Reading a story in the Irish Times on 5th July about the impending 'Last Harry Potter Book' mania. As ever, many bookstores are planning midnight openings and publicity events to celebrate the arrival of the new book.
Quoted in this article was one proud bookshop owner, who listed the various entertainments they had planned for this special occassion: "We're going to cordon off the children's section, and have sweets and refreshments, ***a professional wizard***, a minstrel, face-painting, balloon-modelling, as well as live owls in the store."
You've got to wonder at a guy who has "Professional Wizard" on his business card. (As opposed to those wizards maintaining their amateur status in hopes of being selected for the Irish squad in the 2008 Wizarding Olympics!)
Overheard by TD, Irish Times
Posted on Thursday, 05th July 2007
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Rating score (174) | Comments (17) | Email to a friend |
Cheeky bus driver
Dis fairly posh auld one got on the bus one day and asks the bus driver
"How much for christchurch?" (obviously she meant to say how much to christchurch)
Bus driver replies:
"Dunno luv,id say it costs a f**ckin fortune though"
Overheard by Murtag, on the bus into town
Posted on Thursday, 05th July 2007
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Rating score (412) | Comments (3) | Email to a friend |
More odd than funny....
Having a quiet pint in a pub in Dun Laoghaire
one evening. There were a group of 3 lads sitting beside us. Upon my return from the bathroom I overheard part of their conversation. Please bear in mind that all guys looked, sounded and probably were sincere and sober.
guy #1: "...and you know that at the end of the night you'll just end up meeting yourself in the mirror again"
guys #2 and 3 nod and agree in unison.
Overheard by maria, Dunphy's in Dun Laoghaire
Posted on Thursday, 05th July 2007
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Rating score (191) | Comments (6) | Email to a friend |
